I would like to extrapolate my thoughts on the following three words: peanut butter cup. Specifically, I love them. I desire them daily. I would walk a mile through a blizzaed to obtain one, and yet, when I am at a store where these sacred items are availible for purchase I usually don't use the money in my pocket to buy a package. I know the consequences of feasting on chocolate regularly - increased amount of bodily jiggling. I also know the result of spending money - a lack of it. Up to this point in my life this has been the extent to which I excersiced self-control. Excersice, getting-up in the morning, eating healthy food, studying, paying attention in class, being enthusiastic at work and perhaps trying not to swing a punch or curse outload.

     One of the lessons that God has been pressing on my heart lately is that as Christians, the most challenging area of self-control is the self-control we excersice in our thoughts. It's common Christian knowledge that we must love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind and all our strength and it's evident that this goal is unreachably tough. But I've noticed that while I'm concious of my attempts to use my time and 'strength' to serve God and that I long for sincere desire for intimacy and love for God within my heart and soul, I let my mind wander. I don't know about you, but I think that my mind wanders to things that I desire. My mind wanders home, my mind thinks about what I want to buy, how I look, my plans for the future and sometimes I dream up wild adventures. It might not even be that my mind wanders to the things that I want, because I'm certain that I WANT Jesus too, but my default thoughts are definitely things that are easy to think about. Things I have control over.

Righteousness probably stems from thinking about Jesus.

     Those who are dominated by sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your minds leads to life and peace. (Romans 8:5-6)

     My pride comes from my mind (Colossians 2). My doubt comes from my mind. My negetivity comes from my mind. It takes an exhasting amount of energy to check my thoughts moment by moment and see if they themselves are pure and holy and righteous and that is essentially so because they are so far from that Godly place. I think that this is a new season for me, a new medium in which God is going to refine me. I honestly don't struggle much with stealing, sex, murdering, cussing or things of that sort... but I struggle with pride. I'm jealousy. I doubt God's power. I struggle with loving people. I'm judgemental. I even lust. I want to make my own plans. I get angry. I get frustrated.

So, Spirit, control my mind.

     I'm going to start on a new lifelong path of controlling my thoughts and my attitude. It's going to be a lot harder than peanut-butter cup regulation, but with greater reward and more at stake.

By the way... My team and I have safely landed in Nairobi, Kenya and will be leaving for our ministry locations at the end of the week!